got this from abi's blog! was from long long ago but IT'S FUNNNYY.

(Shivani dropped her mealworms and picked them up, leaving oats on the floor.)“Nevermind. Any lost mealworm that finds its way here at least will have some food.”- Shivani

“Oh and by the way, you won’t be getting latex gloves. You’ll be getting chicken rice gloves.”- Mr De Souza

“I know today is April Fool’s Day. I can see you. (looking under Kayal’s table) hi, can you come out?”- Mrs Chan

(looking at turkey beside Wan Ting) “Is it Thanksgiving yet?”- Mrs Chan

“Do you want to join SAP? You can draw very well.”- Ms Tong (to supposedly artistically challenged Yu Ann)

“If your hands smell, get lime. During recess, buy mee siam.”- Mr De Souza

“Okay, please put on your chicken rice gloves.”- Mr De Souza

“Not mentioning names…*cough*dur*cough*kasri.”- Mr Wolfe

(Rachel Wang yawned) “What a big mouth you have!”- Mr Wolfe

“Please, this is a PT, a Performance Task, not a Pornography Task.”- Ms Ong

(As an analogy for selection pressure) “Okay, let’s say you all are Bambis living together harmoniously – until Mr Wolfe comes along.”- Mr De Souza

“Only the faster and fitter Mr Wolfes will catch the Bambis.”“No wonder there’s only one Mr Wolfe in our school.”- Mr De Souza, Shivani

(After a long conversation about where we stopped Maternity) “I just wanted to test if you’re paying attention and keeping track.”- Mr De Souza

“Okay wait face me. Don’t look at the class.”“Have eyes only for him.”- Mr De Souza to Alanna, Wan Ting

“Face the wall. Where did we stop the video yesterday?”“Ask her for what? She was sleeping.”- Mr De Souza to Alanna, Esther

“Stop playing with her hair! If you like playing with hair so much you can always come after school to play with mine. I’m sure you won’t like that, and neither will I.”- Mr Wolfe

“Okay since you all look so stressed, I’m going to give you marshmallows.”“You are the one who looks stressed lah.”- Mr Lim, Esther

(singing Westlife’s My Love) “What if we sing ‘my love’ and Mr De Souza comes in?”- Deborah Tang

“I rock. You stone.”- Lavanya

(Wan Ting sneezes 3 times in succession) “Bless you! You’ve now been blessed by Mr Wolfe.”

(Hua Zhen sneezed) “Bless you! Do you need an Eeyore tissue?”“No thank you, I have my own.”“Well but yours aren’t as nice as mine. Mine are three ply.”- Mr Wolfe, Hua Zhen

“Where’s that duster? I know I left it someplace.” (walks to Kay Yuen’s table) “Kay Yuen stole it.”- Mr Wolfe

(both Rachels talking) “Rachel. (both turned around) I kill 2 birds with one stone this way.”- Mr Wolfe

“Later you scotchtape graph paper until so long then wah become a scroll.”- Mr Lim

“Give the rat. The rep.”- D Poon

“Does anyone need to unleash their bladders?”- Mr De Souza

“However, by left and according to the UN Convention for Human Rights, Article 132, you’ll must be given your recess break.”- Mr De Souza

“You have twenty-one minutes left.”- Mr De Souza

“Esther?”“Why?”- Mr De Souza, Esther

“Why you drink water?”“Thirsty lah!”“Don’t Merlion all over me ah.”- Mr Lim, Esther

“You open your mouth so big I’m going to throw a housefly inside.”- Mr Lim

A few minutes later You want me to throw a housewife inside?

IT IS HILARIOUSS. especially the wolfe and bambis part. oh i do miss mr wolfe a BITT.
lemme recall three. hmm.

Mr Wolfe: Nurul! that was totally wrong! terrible! sit down!
Nurul: -turns to sit down-
everyone bursts out laughing.
Mr Wolfe: nurul, why're you so timid?
Nurul: ahh! i..i don't..don't know!

someone i forgot who: -plays with nails-
Mr wolfe: oh can i get mine done later? (:

Mr wolfe: pick someone smart.
rosie: julnise.
Mr wolfe: i said someone SMART!

okay i have to sleep now bye!